I haven't posted any thing for a while and it's because I've been thinking, probably too much as I tend to do. Well, first it started off with blogger being a pain in the arse and erasing a post I did write about our trip to Vegas. Then we got our adoption papers in the mail and there's been a loooot of thinking these past weeks.
Then things started to...well they did that thing that they do when a new year is about to begin and new things are about to happen in your life and you start making goals and thinking (even more than usual) and getting excited and scared and emotional and excited and excited about all the newness. Not excited like when you finally find a new pair of shoes you like (it's a challenge for me), but big excitement. We're talking mind- blowing- life- altering- I just might get to be called mom one day. See, BIG.
Besides, I seem to burst into tears every 20 minutes or so (that last sentence there, whew, that one got me) and so I have been taking a break from posting the mundane humming and drumming of our little lives and I've been thinking a lot about being a parent, being a better step parent, and how to write better to capture it all in a more meaningful way.
Gord and I both enjoy writing, and I think this blog has let me keep my family in the loop as to what the heck we do over here (umm, bake, play games, sew...maybe we should pick it up a notch) and allowed me to write a little bit, but I want to write BIG. And I'm just not sure how that's going to look or what I want to do with that at all.
I don't know if I'll keep posting here or start a fresh somewhere else, but I thought I'd at least start by getting out of my head a bit and put something down here. And it seems fitting that on the anniversary of my mama's death (11 years - holy doodle!) that I write this today with paperwork surrounding me, to do lists of what I need to do to get through this crazy process, thoughts swimming in my head about being a mom and being a better step mom. Wow, if she could see me now.... (there's those tears again!)
So, here's my list of 2012 goals (we'll see just how far I get. ha)
1. Pay more attention, ask more questions, parent consciously
2. Learn to sew some clothes
3. Cook more, eat out less (that one would have her laughing!)
4. Take more time to enjoy the little things
5. Remember more often that I like me better when I'm calm and laid back and enjoying the little things
6. Make new friends
7. Become a freaking mom!!!
8. Write more
9. Dance more
10. Explore more (when baking and sewing are your hobbies, you don't tend to get out much!)
I could keep going but let's face it, it I can accomplish half of what's here, it will be one heck of year! Bring it on 2012!
